Discipline Without Stress Punnishments or Rewards

Discipline for Promoting
Responsibility and Learning

Discipline without Stress Punnishment or Rewards
 

  PROMOTING
RESPONSIBILITY
& LEARNING

Monthly Newsletter:

Discipline without Stress®
Punishments or Rewards

Discipline without Stress
This book shows how internal motivation is far more powerful and effective than are punishments or rewards.
"Collaboration is more effective than domination"

Dr. Marvin Marshall

PROMOTING RESPONSIBILITY & LEARNING
Marvin Marshall's Monthly Newsletter
www.MarvinMarshall.com
Volume 10 Number 3,
March 2010
 

IN THIS ISSUE:

1. Welcome

2. Promoting Responsibility

3. Increasing Effectiveness

4. Improving Relationships

5. Promoting Learning

6.
Parenting

7. Discipline without Stress

8. Testimonials and Research 

 

1. WELCOME

MONTHLY QUOTE (of LAST month):

Motivation for learning is voluntary.
It must be invited.
It cannot be demanded, forced, or coerced.

Penny Smith put a spin on it for THIS month:

    Motivation for living positively is voluntary.
    It must be invited.
    It cannot be demanded, forced, or coerced.

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The public charity for schools in the USA has simplified the
application procedure. See:
http://www.disciplinewithoutstress.org/

-------

The latest about the newly published parenting book
from the Midwest Review of Books:

"Children become the dominating figures of one's life when
they enter the picture. This book is a guide for parents who
want to attain the perfect balance where they can actually
have a personal life and still show love and care for their
children. This is a top pick for parents."

The parenting book is now on Amazon's Kindle as an eBook.
It sells for the same price as on my website
http://parentingwithoutstress.org/

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2. PROMOTING RESPONSIBILITY

ADULT MANTRA:

I am responsible for my behavior towards you,
but I am not responsible for your behavior towards me.

Your behavior is your responsibility.

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3. INCREASING EFFECTIVENESS

Listening with understanding and empathy may be the queen of
intelligent behaviors, according to Dr. Art Costa co-founder
of "Habits of the Mind."

This skill encompasses many of the the other "habits." The
good listener needs to be flexible, looks at situations from
another person's perspective, metacogitates in terms of
monitoring one's own listening skills, listens to learn (in
contrast to judging), is patient, asks clarifying questions
for successful understanding, and uses clearness and
precision in language when responding.

HABITS OF MIND:
Persisting
Managing Impulsivity
Listening with Understanding and Empathy
Thinking Flexibly
Thinking About One's Own Thinking (Metacognition)
Striving for Accuracy and Precision
Questioning and Problem Solving
Applying Past Knowledge to Novel Situations
Thinking and Communicating with Clarity & Precision
Gathering Data Through All Senses
Creating, Imagining, and Innovating
Responding with Wonderment and Awe
Taking Responsible Risks
Finding Humor
Thinking Interdependently
Remaining Open to Continuous Learning

http://www.instituteforhabitsofmind.com/

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4. IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS

Whenever I feel like I am about to be engaged in an
argument, my self-talk proclaims:

"I would rather learn than be right."

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5. PROMOTING LEARNING

New research makes the case for difficult tests in schools
and suggests an unusual technique that anyone can use to
learn: TEST FIRST, STUDY LATER.

Students who take tests on material before studying it
remember the information better and longer than those who
study without pre-testing.

(Anyone can use this learning technique to enhance recall of
new information.)

For years many educators have championed "errorless
learning" advising teachers (and students) to create study
conditions that do not permit errors. For example, a
classroom teacher might drill students repeatedly on the
same multiplication problem with very little delay between
the first and second presentations of the problem in order
to ensure that students get the answer correct each time.

The idea was that students who make errors will remember the
mistakes and will not learn the correct information (or will
learn it more slowly, if at all). Recent research shows that
this worry is misplaced. Students actually learn better if
conditions are arranged so that they have to make errors.
Specifically, people remember things better and longer if
they are given tests so challenging that they are bound to
fail. This phenomenon has obvious applications for
education, but the technique could be useful for anyone who
is trying to absorb new material of any kind.

Evidence for the effects of testing first and studying later
comes from a new study by psychologists Nate Kornell,
Matthew Hays and Robert Bjork who showed that trying and
failing to retrieve the answers helps in learning. As the
researchers report in the July 2009 issue of the JOURNAL OF
EXPERIMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY in their article, "Learning, Memory
and Cognition," students who make an unsuccessful attempt to
answer a test question before receiving the correct answer
remember the material better than if they simply study the
information.

Failing a test may not be all bad. If students learn the
correct answers soon after they get the questions wrong,
they will retain the information better in the long run.

Also, asking questions before reading a passage obviously
focuses students' attention on the critical concepts.

The authors took care to show that the beneficial effect
from pre-testing did not result from simply having seen the
test questions before reading the essay but rather from
ATTEMPTING TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONS.

In other words, the learning boost from pre-testing seems to
truly come from the attempt to answer a question and the
subsequent failure to call up the information.

The implications for learning is obvious. Teachers should
challenge students to try to answer questions about a
subject BEFORE they study the material (a tactic bound to
produce many errors).

Even if this strategy is not employed in the classroom,
students could use it on their own to improve their
learning. Look at the questions in the back of each textbook
chapter and try to answer them before reading the chapter.
If there are no questions, convert the section headings to
questions. For instance, if the heading is "Pavlovian
conditioning," ask yourself, "What is Pavlovian
conditioning?" Then read the chapter and answer the
questions while reading it. When the chapter is finished, go
back to the questions and try answering them again. For any
you miss, restudy that section of the chapter. Then wait a
few days and try to answer the questions again by
re-studying when you need to. Keep this practice up, and you
will have learned the material in a durable manner, and you
will be able to retrieve it much later.

By challenging ourselves to retrieve or generate answers, we
can improve our recall. Keep that in mind next time you turn
to Google for an answer. You might want to give yourself a
little more time to come up with the answer on your own. And
remember, even if you get the questions wrong as you
self-test yourself during study, the process is still
useful. Getting the answer wrong is a great way to learn as
long as you receive the correct answer shortly afterward.

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6. Parenting

When you use external approaches to promote responsible
behavior, you may want to consider the following:

CARROTS AND STICKS: The Seven Deadly Sins

1. They can extinguish intrinsic motivation.
2. They can diminish performance.
3. They can crush creativity.
4. They can crowd out good behavior.
5. They can encourage cheating and unethical behavior.
6. They can become addictive.
7. They can foster short-term thinking.

from "DRIVE: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us"
by Daniel H. Pink, p. 59.

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7. Discipline without Stress (DWS)

The following was in response to a post at the support link
at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Disciplinewithoutstress/
regarding using stickers and other external approaches as
INCENTIVES (read bribes) to manipulate behavior:

We still use stickers, we still have food treats, we still
have parties and on and on, but the difference is we stopped
using these things as rewards. We stopped trying to
manipulate behaviour.

Although I don't usually give prizes for academic games, a
game prize isn't necessarily a reward. A reward is meant to
manipulate behavior and will often lead to changes in
student motivation. A prize can just be a delightful treat
that's more or less given out randomly.

On the other hand, prizes CAN be used as rewards if your
intention is to trick the kids into playing a game they
don't really want to play. Consider too, if you set up the
expectation that prizes are given as a norm, then you will
feel pressured to continue giving them in order to sustain
the same level of interest as previously shown.

In my experience, you often have to keep making the rewards
bigger to satisfy the addictive nature they create. As
well, rewards often give the impression that the teacher is
offering a choice about participation in school activities
or lessons. At some point, at least one child is certain to
say something to the effect, "I don't want that reward, so I
don't care to do this activity. I'm going to opt out." In
such cases, teachers and parents are usually surprised (and
even angry). It was never their intention to give the
impression that participation in regular class activities
was optional. They didn't realize that they were actually
setting themselves up for this logical response from a
child.

I'm not saying to give or not give gqme prizes; that's
certainly up to you and how you feel about it, but I would
encourage you to think further on this topic just in order
to feel more peace within yourself.

Like you, in my early days of teaching I tried giving
rewards but speaking for myself, I soon tired of the results
I saw, that were to me, negative--bad feelings from those
who didn't receive them, a constant sense of competition in
the class that I didn't find helpful or enjoyable, a sense
of anxiousness from the kids about whether or not they would
receive a reward (thus a change in motivation as they began
any assignment,) great anxiety on MY part as I tried to be
fair in distributing awards/rewards and tried to manipulate
things so that poor students would have equal chances to
receive rewards, etc.

Personally, I don't find it difficult to motivate kids to be
at the higher levels of the Hierarchy. I actually find it
exhilarating and easy! The Hierarchy gave me a simple
strategy to do something I had always wanted to be able to
do in a consistently successful way. I never thought I would
find such a strategy--and before I found it I couldn't have
told you exactly what it was I was looking for--but when I
saw the four levels, I instantly recognized it as the tool I
was seeking.

With the Hierarchy, I felt empowered to do what I had always
wanted to do--show kids in a concrete way the definition of
being self-motivated so they could choose that level if they
wanted.

I had always tried to make this my goal, simply because it
was the way I had been raised by my parents, but my efforts
were more or less hit and miss. When I found the levels, I
had a simple tool to send the message that I had always been
trying to impart to students--that it feels wonderful to be
self-directed and that many "rewards" find their way to
people who choose to display initiative and live with
self-discipline. The bonus was that this motivational
approach was FAIR to all kids. It didn't favor those who
were naturally successful, and yet it could motivate those
kids just as well as the less capable and less successful
ones. Every child had something to gain from learning about
the Hierarchy!

I think another reason that I find it easy to motivate kids
with the levels is because I use it almost exclusively to
focus on the positive. I keep a small Hierarchy on my front
board so that I can reach it easily, during any lesson or
situation. Although it's important that the kids learn about
all four levels, it becomes quite negative if the chart is
referenced only when there is a problem. For me, I just
naturally tend to do the opposite. I focus 90% of the time
on using it proactively to motivate kids to be at Level C
(with the real key being to always end with a voluntary
invitation to move to Level D.) Then when I have to use the
chart to react to an issue that is not positive, the
situation stands out. It seems really sad when we have to
look at the lower levels in relation to something happening
in our classroom because it happens so infrequently.

The levels of the chart can help me explain why life is more
satisfying when we focus on a real purpose for doing
something, rather than a reward. I have many personal
examples that I can give about the benefits of operating at
a higher, rather than lower level. Because I can speak with
personal conviction, I think kids listen and respond. I see
my job as being a salesperson for internal motivation!

Anyone who loves a particular product and has personally
experienced the benefits of using it can easily sell it to
others. I'm just guessing here, but I would imagine that
most people who have joined this mailring have had personal
experiences with the benefits of being self-disciplined and
responsible or with showing initiative. What they need to
understand is that the DWS approach basically boils down to
one thing--trying to SELL this valuable idea to others. It
might take some confidence, a leap of faith, or a
willingness to experiment, but anyone can do this if they
have seen value in their own life as a result of choices to
operate on Level D.

Kerry in British Columbia, Canada
More of Kerry's posts are available at
http://disciplineanswers.com/

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The Hierarchy of Social Development is explained at
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/rrsystem.htm.

To obtain the most understanding of the levels, link to
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/pdf/hierarchy_significant_points.pdf.

Also, see VISUALS--INCLUDING EXAMPLES OF HIERARCHIES:
http://www.MarvinMarshall.com/visuals.html

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8. Testimonials/Research

After starting the Parenting Without Stress book, I couldn't
put it down. The tone is so warm, experienced and genuinely
pleased to share what can be truly transformative in human
relations. I don't want to gush, but it is such good therapy
just to read this book, breathe in its positivity, and be
inspired by new yet accessible ways to give our youngsters
what they need at home, at school and later, in the
workplace.

Nancy Sellers
Highland Park, IL

Information about this transformative book is at
http://www.parentingwithoutstress.org

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Products & Services

THE PARENTING BOOK:
http://parentingwithoutstress.org

THE DISCIPLINE AND LEARNING BOOK
http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com

POSTERS, CARDS, AND STAFF DEVELOPMENT PACKAGE:
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/products.htm

FREE BOOKS AND STAFF DEVELOPMENT PACKAGE FOR USA SCHOOLS:
http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.org
 


Resources & Support

RESOURCES: See the navigation bar at
 http://www.MarvinMarshall.com

POWERPOINT:
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/pdf/DWS_ppt_secure.pdf

VISUALS:
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/visuals.html

SUPPORT LINKS AND DESCRIPTIONS
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/support.html
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/media_room.htm


About Dr. Marvin Marshall

His totally noncoercive--but not permissive--RAISE
RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM stemmed from experiences as a parent,
recreation leader, and classroom teacher at the primary and
upper elementary levels and all grades 7 - 12 (TEACHING); as
a recreation and camp counselor, both middle school and high
school counselor, and certification by the William Glasser
Institute (COUNSELING); and as an assistant principal of
both supervision and control and curriculum and instruction,
elementary school principal, high school principal, and
district director of education (ADMINISTRATION).

He has presented seminars in 44 of the United States and in
15 countries on five continents and can be contacted for
presenting a keynote or workshop at
Marv@MarvinMarshall.com.
 

 
Discipline without Stress
For Book Information
www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com

Speaking & Staff Development

Product Information

Dr. Marvin Marshall
P.O. Box 2227
Los Alamitos, CA 90720

Phone: 800.255.3192
marv@marvinmarshall.com

Piper Press
P.O. Box 2227
Los Alamitos, CA 90720

Phone: 800.606.6105
order@piperpress.com

Discipline without Stress
For Book Information
www.parentingwithoutstress.org