Dr. Marvin Marshall’s Blog
Established Routines Reduce Discipline Problems
How you structure an activity or arrange the environment can significantly reduce discipline problems with children. In the elementary grades, this pertains to both indoor and outdoor activities. For example, establishing a “getting drinks” routine after vigorous playground activities is an example of an outdoor procedure. Children whose last names are in the first half of the alphabet will use the fountain by the … [Read more...]
Discipline: A Better Way than School Suspensions
On May 15, 2013, the Los Angeles Unified School District decided to ban school suspensions as a measure of discipline for defiant students. The school board directed school officials to use alternative discipline approaches instead. Offenses such as repeatedly tapping feet on the floor, refusing to remove a hat, refusing to wear the school uniform, and refusing to turn off a cell phone are classified as discipline acts … [Read more...]
Parents and Role-Modeling
The parent is the first teacher—and the most influential. In fact, you cannot help but teach because you are always modeling, whether you like it or not. And children are perceptive. They pick up everything you model, not just the good. Consider this example: Every morning a father drove his three-year-old daughter to preschool. One day, the father was away at a conference and the mother drove the girl. The youngster, … [Read more...]
What I Owe My Mother
This past Sunday, my daughter came over to celebrate Mother's Day. During the visit, which was filled with food and joy, I reflected on my own mother's influence on me—with a little help from Dan Poynter. I OWE MY MOTHER: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come … [Read more...]
Responsibilities to Live By
Instead of relying on rules, consider using the term “responsibilities.” This is much more than a mere word choice. In contrast to “rules,” “responsibilities” empower and elevate. They are stated in positive terms, whereas rules are often stated in negative terms. When communications are in positive terms, there is a natural tendency for you to help rather than to punish. So, rather than using the term … [Read more...]
Learning and Relationships
Learning and relationships are inseparable. How we feel affects and even directs how we behave and learn. As you have heard time and time again—with a great deal of truth—students don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. With people, trust also carries with it an implicit message that the other person has your own best interests in mind. That is … [Read more...]
Before You Discipline, Check Your Mental Position
When disciplining a child, only a noncoercive approach is effective. And the first step to being noncoercive is mental positioning. When practicing any skill, putting yourself in position always precedes the action. This is as true when disciplining as it is when holding a golf club before the swing, holding a baseball bat before the pitch arrives, shooting a basketball, holding a tennis racquet, or playing any musical … [Read more...]
Paint Verbal Pictures for Better Discipline
The old saying, "A picture is worth 1,000 words," is so true, especially when it comes to discipline. Let me give you an example of ineffective discipline. I was in an airport, and there was a gate agent standing at the gate. A small child was standing near the entrance. The gate agent looked down at the child and said, "Don't go down the ramp.” Guess where the kid went? You are right! Just a few moments after the … [Read more...]
Rewards and Compensation
People assume that an external manipulator, such as a reward, causes young people to change. As a result, many parents offer children money for doing something they ask. They equate it to earning a salary at work. But remember, salaries in the job marketplace are contractual agreements of compensation for service. They are not bribes to manipulate behavior. When was the last time you looked at your paycheck and thanked … [Read more...]
Asking Is The Key
One of the key ideas I suggest people write down during my seminars is this: "The person who asks the question controls the conversation" or "The person who asks the question controls the situation." Let me demonstrate to you how this works. You walk into the store and the salesperson asks, “How are you today?” Isn't there a natural tendency to answer? Here is another situation. A friend with whom you are talking … [Read more...]
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