PROMOTING POSITIVITY, CHOICE, AND
REFLECTION:
These three simple practices can make school
a place where teachers and students want to
be.
By Marvin Marshall
Originally published in Leadership
Magazine by the Association of
California School Administrators - Vol. 34,
No.5, pp. 28-30
Theme:
How to Champion A Positive Learning Climate
No
student comes to school with the deliberate
intention of failing or getting into
trouble. Similarly, no adult enters the
teaching profession with the intention of
not being successful or not enjoying it.
Yet, the profession loses fifty percent of
its new teachers within five years and a
rapidly growing number of students are
demonstrating irresponsible behavior.
This article describes three simple
practices that foster positive school
climates—where both teachers and students
want to be.
Let's begin with a recent communication from
teacher William Funkhouser, 2003-2004
Humboldt County Teacher of the Year:
"It is almost painful to reflect on who I
used to be. I was so caught up in getting
students to obey that I lost sight of the
humanity of this profession. I was
overpowering them rather than being
flexible, understanding and compassionate.
"Here is an example: I have a student who
doesn't do his homework and who struggles in
the class. Last year he would have had
several detentions from me and a failing
grade. I would have forced him to come in to
do his homework and we would have been in a
power struggle. This year I purchased
several school supplies for him and have
always had a kind word for him. I recently
found out he is actually homeless and that
he and his dad are living in a cheap motel.
"Recently, he has started spending his break
time in my class, by his own choosing, doing
his math homework. He also drew me some
pictures on binder paper that he wanted me
to have. It breaks my heart to think of all
the opportunities I have missed for this
type of relationship with students."
Three practices were instrumental in keeping
this dedicated teacher in the profession.
However, any administrator, teacher,
supervisor, spouse or parent can implement
the practices. Those who do can
significantly increase their effectiveness,
improve their relationships, promote
responsibility and create positive and
pleasant environments. The practices are
positivity, choice, and reflection.
Positivity
Cognition prompts emotion. Someone
compliments us and we feel good; someone
criticizes us and we feel bad. First comes
the cognition; the emotion follows. The
importance of understanding how positive
emotions are critical to learning is
reinforced every time I ask attendees in my
seminars what the conversation might sound
like after a child comes home from the first
day at school. The child inevitably is
asked, "Do you like your teacher?"
We intuitively know that if the student has
negative feelings about the teacher, the
education will never be optimal. This is
particularly pertinent to minority groups in
poverty where relationships are of paramount
importance. Consider that even the slowest
salesperson knows enough not to make the
customer angry.
Yet, schools strive for obedience rather
than promoting responsibility. We rely on
rules, and when not obeyed, the person in
authority dons a blue suit with copper
buttons to enforce them. Unwittingly,
teachers set themselves up as cops—rather
than as encouragers, empowerers, coaches,
facilitators, mentors, and role models.
Simply stated: obedience does not create
desire.
A good
habit
One principal—Mary Lou Cebula, from Warren,
New Jersey—related to me how she decided to
start by waking up each morning and telling
herself to think and act in positive ways.
Each morning, she greeted her staff and
students with a smile, wished them a happy
day, and tried to think of ways to state
comments to students in a positive manner.
She practiced saying things like, "We walk
from the bus to the classroom" instead of
"No running!" In the lunchroom, she called
clean-up time, "Quiet clean-up" instead of
"No talking!"
She said, "As the idea of positivity began
to become a habit with me, I started to
notice how good it felt. People responded to
me in the same way I interacted with them. I
also noticed when other staff made
statements in negative terms. It began to
bother me. I hadn't noticed before how often
educators speak to students and others in
negative terms. I decided to have
conversations with my staff about their
styles of interacting with children."
Offering
Choices
The principal continued with the second
practice, the empowerment of choice. "In the
meantime, I began to experiment with giving
choices to students. This was an easier
change for me because I had used this
strategy to some degree in the past. I have
always felt that children should be active
participants in solving problems and
resolving conflicts. When speaking to
students about their behavior at recess, in
the lunchroom, or on the bus, I would try to
elicit from them what choices they had and
how they could make better choices. If a
consequence were needed, we would talk
together about some of the choices.
"I would usually start with, 'What do you
think we should do about the situation?'
When I was satisfied with the student's
choice, I would say, 'I can live with that.'
The process worked every time and I would
wonder at its simplicity."
Reflection
It is a simple fact of life that no one
changes another person. People change
themselves. Although we can control others
by imposing some activity or consequence, we
cannot change how another person wants to
think, wants to behave, or will behave after
our presence is no longer felt.
Our usual approach to changing others is
through obedience and coercion; yet, these
are the least effective approaches. The most
effective approaches are by establishing
expectations and by using noncoercive
approaches.
Here is how Cebula concluded her
communication with me: "Finally, I began the
hardest part of the three principles to
practice: reflective questions. This is
especially challenging for educators because
we feel we are not doing our job unless we
are constantly teaching or telling children
what they should do, when, how and why.
"Actually, we are doing children a great
injustice when we do this. Who is doing all
the thinking and reflecting? Certainly not
the children! When reflective questions are
asked, the student is prompted to think and
respond.
"The end result is so effective that I will
never go back to being who I was before. Was
it easy? No. Was it worth the effort? Yes!
The new me is a happier, more positive
person and administrator. Living the three
principles made all the difference in my
personal life, my professional life, and
most importantly, the lives of the staff and
students."
Three Steps to a more positive school
climate
Step 1: Practice
positive self-talk: For the next
two days, mentally note every time you think
something negative and turn it around so
that your self-talk is positive. For
example, change, "I have to submit that
report today" to "I get to do the report
today." Restate, "I need to meet with Mr.
Brown again" to "I get to share a new idea
with Mr. Brown." After you feel fairly
comfortable in making your self-talk
positive on a consistent basis, start
becoming aware of your communications with
others. Every time you are about to say
anything that will be interpreted in a
negative way, phrase it in a positive way.
You will recognize negative communications
if it blames, complains, criticizes, nags,
or threatens.
Step 2: Share the
technique with staff: After
sharing your experiences with you a few
staff members, ask them to do the same for
two days—first with their self-talk, then
in their communications with others. The
practice requires conscious focus but is
easy to implement. For example, rather than
a teacher's telling a student, "No running
in the hallway," instead say, "We walk in
the hallway." If a student is talking during
study time, saying, "This is quiet time," is
much more conducive to learning than
exclaiming, "Stop talking!"
Step 3 Share with
students: Ask staff
members—especially those working directly
with students—to share their experiences
with students. Have them encourage students
to self-talk only in positive terms for two
day. After two days, have students
communicate with others only in positive
terms for two days. The key phrase for
students to remember is, "Only positives are
spoken here."
Exercises
for students
We think about what we
lack more often than we think about what we
have. The following exercise combines
positivity, choice, and reflection. Hal
Urban has conducted this exercise with his
classes for 20 years with amazing results.
-
Have your teachers instruct their
students to conduct themselves for the
next 24 hours without complaining.
-
Tell them not to stop the experiment
even if they do complain. Just have them
see how few complaints they can make in
one day.
-
Give each student a 3 x 5 card. This
makes it convenient to note each time a
complaint comes forth and each time they
catch themselves about to complain.
The next day, ask: What was the purpose of
the assignment? What did you learn from
doing it?
Students will have discovered the frequency
and smallness of their complaints. Then,
have students label a paper, "I am thankful
for," and make three columns:
1)
Things (They list all the material things
they are glad they have.)
2)
People (They list all the people they
appreciate.)
3)
Other (What will emerge will be freedom,
opportunity, friendship, love, intelligence,
abilities, health, talents, peace, faith,
security, learning, experiences, beauty,
kindness, and the list continues.)
Instruct students to review the list four
times within the next 24 hours: in the
afternoon, after dinner, before going to
sleep, and before school the next morning.
When attention is given to the positive,
when the option of choice is recognized and
when reflection is used, life is conducted
more successfully and with greater pleasure.
These three principles are the keys to
establishing and maintaining positive school
climates—with one stipulation: They must be
practiced.
©
2005 Marvin Marshall
References
Cebula, Mary Lou. Posted at
www.MarvinMarshall.com/principal.htm
Funkhouser, William A. Posted at
www.MarvinMarshall.com/middleschool.html.
Marshall, Marvin. (2007). Discipline without
Stress® Punishments or Rewards: How Teachers
and Parents Promote Responsibility &
Learning. Los Alamitos, CA: Piper Press.
Urban, Hal. (2000) Life's Greatest Lessons:
20 Things I Want My Kids to Know. Redwood
City, CA: Great Lessons Press.
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© Marvin Marshall 2005
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